Our fear may not be our best guide, but it is one of our most loyal. Whether in changes for the new, for the better, or in situations that overwhelm us, our fear is always with us. It is constant and stable.
We can rely on our fear.
I do not talk about anxiety disorders, or about times in life when fear paralyzes us, and with good reason. This is not about the fear of war, fear in free fall, fear of death. This is about our faithful friend, that keeps us from experiencing an embarassment or a bad moment…
This is about the fear that usually wants to prevent us from leaving our comfort zone.
There are often opportunities to get to know new things or to finally show up in all our glory, how we really are. And we so often let these opportunities pass us by because we are afraid. We do not take courage, but we allow fear to paralyze us and remain in the shadows, in what we know, in safety.
What are we really afraid of in this situation?
If we could get to know something new, then there is of course the possibility that we might not like it. Only in a few cases do we have to accept it anyway, much more often we could just try it out and say afterwards: „Nah, I didn’t like it. I’m staying with the old one.“ Nevertheless, we prefer to stay on the sofa. Which might be the more dangerous option, indeed. In the long run, dissatisfaction due to boredom then tends to lead to even riskier actions – so please: take a tiny little risk more often and stay alive. (And educate yourself about your wanderlust…)
In a situation in which we could show ourselves, but we won’t do it, we are of course often afraid of making a fool of ourselves.
We are afraid of being humiliated. (We listen to our inner critic, this shadow of our muse.) Or we do not want to expose ourselves, we want to appear strong, do not stand out, do not take centre stage, etc. Far too often, we would rather not contribute to the beauty and the good in the world, just out of fear. Instead we remain silently on the sidelines and watch another one shine in the spotlight.
We put our light under a bushel and criticize with delight and a sharp eye those who dare to show their light.
This may be human, even comprehensible, but in the long run it does not make you happy either. (…actually, it makes everyone unhappy.)
It does make us happy when we can realize ourselves. When we can show ourselves exactly as we really are. The way we see ourselves in a quiet little room, with all the knowledge and expertise we have acquired unobserved. Sure, we will not only earn admiration, there will also be criticism, we will make mistakes.
But what if we do not make mistakes? What if we are admired, even praised?
Would that really be so bad? Naturally, there will always be someone standing on the sidelines, watching us shine in the spotlight, and later criticizing us with a sharp eye. But instead of finding their behaviour offensive, we could go up to them and ask them to shine. We could ask them what they think we can do better in their opinion and we could ask them to show what they would do in our place.
How about this: instead of talking about someone who lives their dream, we could try to realize our own dream together…?
What do you think about that? What do you think about stretching a bit, about reaching out into the unknown, reaching out to your dreams…? What do you think about doing one tiny little babystep in this direction? Please, if your fear stirs now, and it certainly will, greet it very warmly from me and my fear! We are looking forward to seeing you! Maybe we can enjoy the angstlust together, maybe at the canvas, maybe on the swings. And enjoy the view, while we are at it.
Heartfelt, wherever you are,
P.S.: What do you think about a creative approach to your fear? Do you have any ideas? Questions?
Just leave your message below, and I and my fear will be happy to exchange ideas with you…