Coaching Selbstannahme

About Belonging and Feeling at Home

Feeling at home & belonging, text on photo of Roses before a wall. ©Johanna Ringe 2020.

What makes you feel at home? Where do you feel you belong? What do you long for when your heart aches? What must happen travelling through a foreign country for you to suddenly feel at home? What things or smells or colours or words soothe your longing?

Do you belong where you are?

If you are a fellow misfit, you are probably used to feel out of place. Perhaps the last place on earth where you would feel at home and cosy would be a bed-and-breakfast with a friendly host and a purring cat. Probably you feel much more at home sitting at an empty bus stop in the middle of the night while rain is pouring down on you. But surely there is a smell of baked goods that instantly makes you feel at ease, loved and taken care of.

Do you know your smell of belonging?

And are you conscious about the things or the actions that make you feel like you belong where you are? Have you ever felt at home? Have you had a place to call home when you were a child? Did you just have a broken home? Have you been able to create a home for yourself in your adult life? Have you ever felt not at home? Are you able to travel halfway round the globe, have dinner with complete strangers, yet feel that you are exactly where you belong?

And is the place you belong the same place as the one you call home?

Do you have a sense of belonging? Is there a place or a group of people you belong to? Is there something you will carry in your handbag or put in your suitcase whenever you travel because it makes you feel less homesick? Is there something you do when you first arrive to a new room, that makes it feel homely? What should I do if you ever visit me to make you feel comfortable, at ease and welcome? And would that make you feel at home?

Do you have an adopted home, a home away from home?

What made you choose this place as your home? Is there a special landscape in which you feel a deep sense of belonging? Are you a mountain goat or a mermaid? Are you from the rolling green hills or from the rooftop bars? Have you ever felt strangely at home in a foreign castle, a temple, or a cathedral? What do you think happened there? Has some stranger somewhere given you an unsolicited moment of belonging? How long did that last? Was it welcome to you?

Is there a fictional place you feel you belong to?

Is there a film that instantly makes you feel at home? Is there a painting, a drawing, a picture of any kind that touches you deeply? What is the book you secretly belong to, the book you flee to? Will you be sitting in a cave? Are you travelling the seas? Is it a cottage in the hills or a dusty temple in the East? Is it a longhouse, a tepee, a Palace, or the place by the fire in the circle of wagons?

Oh, how I wish for you to know your answers!

Chances are, some of the questions made you tear up. That is fine, they would do that. They did it to me. And some of them gave me a warm feeling inside, beautiful memories and the impression of being rich beyond measure! The untold riches of my life: I have books that feel like home to me, words able to cover me softly when I need it. I have people that make me feel at home, no matter where we are. I know the landscapes my soul inhabits. I know the food my inner child longs for and the things my skin yearns to touch. And I know the archetypal meeting point where you will always find me, no matter if I am home or travelling, no matter if we have met before or if you just trying to get in touch for the first time:

come, meet me by the fire! Let us have a cup of tea and a good long conversation…

… Let us meet where we belong, in the circle of our people, the misfits, the freaks, the strange ones, clad in all the colours of the rainbow. Come here, take this cup, and fill it to the brim. Take your time, make yourself comfortable and be at ease for no one is going to hurt us here. Do not fear the silent ones, they just need more time. Do not fear the bubbly ones, they just want to be seen. Also, do not judge the sleepy ones nor the jumpy ones, their souls are still travelling. Everyone is going to calm down, eventually, everyone will arrive safely, and we are going to be fantastic together!

We are safe, we are together, we are home.

Heartfelt, wherever we may meet,

Unterschrift Johanna (c) Johanna Ringe 2014 ff.




P.S.: The blog needs a break, and I need a vacation – we will be back on the 22 July!