I want to be the Wordlady. It is like the Catlady, but with words: all the stray words may come to live in my house, and I promise to feed them, to look after them and to pet them on a regular basis…

I could never ever resist an interesting word, neither the bright ones nor the unusual or gloomy ones.

They are just the nicest thing in the world! There are some really palatable ones, like undulating (sweet), reluctant (bitter), voluptuous (salty), hullabaloo (sweet with sparkles), doppelganger (strange) and succulence (hot) and granny (umami)…. just to name a few.
There are many little books I filled with my favourite words. Different languages, different topics…sound, meaning, poetry, clarity…. And even more pages filled with my own words. My poetry, my prose…sometimes illustrated…sometimes private….

In my house there are pens and reading glasses and notebooks everywhere, for when THE MUSE will not accept any excuses and I have to answer her call immediately.

As in let-the-spoon-be-a-spoon-and-don’t-you-dare-clean-the-table-just-f*ing-write-NOW! She is a quite demanding mistress; you have to know (and some say it is rubbing off on me…he he).
And, of course, just like the Catlady, the Wordlady always wears strange and colourful clothes, smells intensely of books and ink (with the occasional splash of cake batter and/or paint), being impressively happy when visited – but only if in the mood.

Otherwise, I will curse unwanted intruders with stutter and short-sightedness.

The words will always have my first attention, even when engaged in an intense debate with another person, every word that pops right out of the stream of speech will be noticed, caught and stored for future tasting… and doing so might be accompanied with mutterings the counterpart will not understand, or they will and therefor they will be annoyed… but my attention switches right back to the conversation and I will immediately continue to focus completely on the person I am with, right now and here.

Curious. Empathic. Loving. Broadminded and generous. With cookie and cup of tea sprinkled in. Looove me a good conversation from heart to heart.

(What a pity that most really interesting conversations are corrupted by the human need to go to the toilet…. don’t you think?!)
I will tolerate children as long as they are interesting, gifted and love books. If not, they will be scared away with the assistance of technical terms like hendiadys and onomatopoeia…merciless.

The little house I will be living in will have books in every room, and I do mean every room, yes. I am not senile, yet, thankyousir.

The kitchen will be a cosy little room, filled to the brim with completely unnecessary thingamabobs and loads of books, some of them even about cooking and baking. (Btw you can find all the dictionaries in the pantry, right beside the other provisions.) The kettle rattling, the tea on hand, and once in a blue moon I might even cook in there… usually prefer to bake and just throw things together, wondering what might happen…and being able to digest most of the experiments. Thank the goddess. Ah, yes, forgot to mention that I ‘ve always lived (and will continue to do so) in matriarchy. My daughters can prove it. My husband, as well. *cackle*

So, where was I? Ah….hm……. tee-hee, yes…. Oh, matriarch patriarch schmatriarch…what about catriarch? Or cowtriarch? Nah, what a thought! A cow would govern nothing…far too engaged in digestion, they are…. hee hee hee….

What are you still doing here, anyways? Hm? Would you mind writing a sonnet with me? And don’t let it start with “shall I compare thee….” – that would blow up right away, believe me, love…. Oh, we don’t like sonnets, hm? Then would you care to explain to me, please, how it comes that YOU ARE still HERE?

Can’t an old woman get some privacy anymore? I need a rest. Actually, make that a NAP. … only if I manage to get past that bloody book in the nook….

it always keeps me up…. Nah, I take another one with me, a boring one, that’ll do the trick…. hee hee hee…. maybe that …. No…ah, wait…there you are, sweety….hm…. armm…. yapp……..tee hee………..hm…hm….hmmm…………………………………………………

Still there, you are? Well, blessed be and such, now get going…CREATE something!

Unterschrift Johanna (c) Johanna Ringe 2014 ff. www.dein-buntes-leben.de
P.S. Do you feel like a kindred spirit? Well, if you want to visit the wordlady, bring cookies and time… and tell me everything! I am looking forward to it – just drop me a line and let’s make it a date!

P.P.S. This is an older text of mine from some years ago, which I have also published in German:  Deutsch hier. Obviously copyrighted. Obviously completely realistic. Obviously. I like the taste of this word: obvvvviousllllyyyy…

P.P.P.S. I think there is an overlap between Catlady and Wordlady. Or maybe cats like words. My cats like balancing on books and sleeping on watercolour-paper, hiding behind canvases and watching me paint… familiars with a deep connection to the muse.