Me and You, Together, Trusting the Process

Trust the process (text on photograph of swirling ink in red and purple) ©Johanna Ringe 2021

Some people who don’t know a language use the fragments they do know in a congenial way. For example, Samu Haber as a coach on The Voice of Germany 2014, when he said: „I open da door, und Du do da Ding!“ What he (presumably) wanted to say with that: as a coach he can only open the doors, the coachee himself goes through and then does his thing, whatever that may be. That’s the only way the coaching process comes into being, through the client’s active work on himself. Coaching is like dancing: both have their area, both have their steps, and together the dance emerges.

In the coaching process, the coachee always leads

The more clearly the coachee’s goals are identified, the better the coach can choose from the wealth of tools available which can enable a step forward here and now. The work of the participants interlocks, and the more openly and trustingly we deal with each other, the more effective the process. Especially in psychosocial coaching, which is not limited to one aspect of a person’s life (as, for example, singing or marketing), common ground and sympathy are essential. For all their professionalism, a coach can only work effectively with a client who opens up with trust.

Trust is one of the most important keys in coaching

Psychosocial coaching is support in decision-making or crisis situations. The discussion with the coach helps to identify the cause of the problem and to develop new strategies for action. This does not mean a backward-looking examination of the past, but rather an exploration of personal structures, such as the following:

  • What are the coachee’s intrinsic motivations?
  • What fears form stumbling blocks?
  • Which unconscious patterns of action take hold?
  • Which unconscious beliefs play a role?
  • Which values shape the decision-making behaviour?

Discussing these issues requires trust. And as shown in the blog posts on the Inner Team and other methods, it is all about self-knowledge.

Awareness brings more room for manoeuvre

Only when I am aware of my motivation and my ingrained reaction patterns can I achieve a conscious change in my behaviour in concrete situations. If coaching is not about strategies for solving a challenge, but about finding goals, then self-exploration forms the basis of the process. For only when I have understood which needs I have to fulfil and which of my character traits I have to take into account, can I really find my dream job, for example. So: recognise yourself!

From the outside, the coach holds up the mirror

The role of the coach is that of a midwife: Giving guidance, providing support, offering comfort and encouragement, cheering on, suggesting possible paths. Most importantly, however, to give the coachee space for their own insights and thoughts.
The coach never knows the solution, it lies hidden in the coachee himself – the teasing out of this solution is the goal of every coaching process. (And in order to be tickled rather than teased, you have to have trust).
Actually, I should rather say:

I will help you to recognise the locks,
you will then open the door and go through it yourself!

Why don’t you write a comment telling me who you think is more right with his statement: Samu or me? I am curious!

Heartfelt, wherever you are,

Unterschrift Johanna (c) Johanna Ringe 2014 ff.