Today I feel kind of… I don’t know, kind of „meh.“
My soul just needs an ocean view today…
Do you know those days when everything is going quite well, when there are no immediate catastrophes and no personal dramas, but something keeps rumbling inside of you and prevents you from really concentrating fully on your work? Yes? Feels dense, doesn’t it? Yeah, it does.
That is why I would like to change that feeling. Or Avoid it altogether.
Is that possible? No, I think this is a feeling like many others… a feeling that does something in me, a feeling that has a meaning, an effect on my system. Even though I am not aware of this effect yet, I simply accept the existence of the feeling here and now. And I can already feel the tension and restlessness very slowly fading away.
What happens to me when I accept this feeling?
By accepting that I feel unfocused and distracted, I begin to listen inside. I open myself up to the possibility that this feeling has something to tell me. Without immediately falling into brooding, I continue to go through my daily duties as best I can today and let part of my mind go to the feeling, as it were, in the background. I let my mind go. I let go. This is so important… only when I open up, free myself of eagerness, am I also free of expectations and can really go on a journey of discovery.
Letting go and just seeing where the feeling takes me.
Oh, this is interesting: there is no clear focus here, but the feeling shows me a big, intertwined strand of other feelings, which all want to have their say here. This is almost too much, and I notice how I start to close myself up again. Immediately I feel tired and uncomfortable again. Not physically tired, but in a mental twilight state. Neither jubilant nor lugubriously sad. Rather „meeh“. With a shrug of my shoulders I let it go. I think I need the sea inside of my mind, with its tides and changes… Again, I let my thoughts wander.
And again, the feeling shows me other feelings.
But this time not so many at once. There’s the insecurity, the disappointment, the fear of being misunderstood, the self-doubt, the laziness… and if I let them all pass like waves while I put away the clean laundry, then others appear: the self-love, the trust, the self-confidence and even the joy, right there, in the back. That is a little surprising, but I am too lazy to think about it any further. I’m far too tired to brood.
So I let the thoughts come up on their own while I go through my daily routine.
And very slowly, almost without me noticing, my basic mood changes. I’m still calm, but rather serene than upset. I still let the day happen to me without striving for anything, but I am rather relaxed and even hear myself humming. Some kind of relaxed song has come up in me and is now slowly bubbling upwards… a song for the summer, for the beach.
There it is: the sea inside. My ocean view inside of me.
Perhaps the spell I allowed to unfold today is a simple one. My mind, my soul needed a rest. Therefor the image of the sea came to my mind, and with this image I then induced a few concepts, such as the tides, the wave patterns, the whole unpredictability, and simultaneous reliability of the habitat „sea“. Without planning to do so, I evoked the sea inside. And these concepts then spread to the deeper levels of my consciousness and gave me what I wanted: the inner mood that a day at the sea so often puts me into: relaxation, trust, serenity and a calm, deep joy in the background.
All it took was my acceptance of all that is right now.
Some part of me is very excited now, wants to give it a name and explain to me that this is a method, and there must be a word for it. Another name than just the sea inside. But this is too complicated for me today. I don’t want to think about it. And I don’t want to think ahead or vision. I don’t need clarity today. I just want to muddle along and not think at all. I want to do my day-to-day stuff. Doing laundry, cleaning up, deleting junk mail, working off annoying lists. And that doesn’t feel so bad, somehow.
It’s kind of easy to be easy today.
Heartfelt, wherever you are…,
P.S.: I wish you days like these, too. Not boring days, no, but quiet days for in between, where you can just be. Just get grounded and relax. And draw strength from the sea inside for new deeds and new visions.
And it will kind of, like, please me somehow to read your comment below. In a way, you know. ;-)