Coaching Selbstannahme

Growth? Ugh, I dunno…

Not in the mood? That might be your growth! (text on photo of undecided woman) ©Johanna Ringe 2023

Sometimes I do not feel like it. The energy is low, I am tired and maybe even thinking about something else, that is bothering me. What if I just let it be? Just leave the room or put the papers away or shut down the PC. Or maybe even just take a nap instead.

There are moments we just do not feel in the mood for something.

And while sleep deprivation or long Covid could be the serious issue behind that, sometimes it is something completely different. It might not be the glittering thingy that you would prefer doing right now. It might not be your libido, your hunger, your tiredness. It could be the awfully thrilling novel you’d rather read. But maybe it is something else: growth.

Maybe you just grew out of it.

“It” could be a relationship, a job, a hobby, a field of interest. “It” could be everything that you have been spending time with in the past. You have discovered it some time ago. It caught your attention and occupied your mind. Perhaps even touched your soul. You spend a lot of time enjoying it, learning, falling in love with it. But we must admit to ourselves:

sometimes we fall out of love, too.

This is not about the multipotential finding a new topic after reaching their personal point of satisfaction with their old thing. This is not about being cranky, tired, hangry or PMS-ing. I am talking about leaving something (or someone) behind for good because of your growth. You have grown out of it. You are finished with it.

You need a change. This is growth.

Needing a change comes naturally when you grow as a person. There are childhood joys we still enjoy in adulthood, but there certainly are some we do not need any longer. (Like in “Cuddle that stuffed toy, whenever you need to. But throw that dummy away, Darling.”) And this is a constant process of leaning into and out of things, ideas, topics, habits, and even people.

Being efficient means recognizing the moment when it is time to let go.

Because schlepping old habits or things around, without having the need any longer, is a waste of energy. Your energy does not come cheap: you need to sleep, to eat, to refuel your soul and psyche with the corresponding nourishment – so it is not recommended to waste any of that! Do not waste your time on toxic or boring people. Do not waste your money on a hobby that does not spark joy any longer. Do not frequent any restaurants that make you feel bloated. And please, you do not need to finish that boring book.

Do not waste your energy any longer.

Just like the insects, crustaceans, or snakes we must shed the old skin, if we want to survive. Well, maybe it is not that drastic and dramatic with humans. And thankfully, in most cases it involves far less itching. But it is the same thing: we shed the old skin, constantly growing underneath.  Because life is growth before it becomes decay. Can you see the poetry in that? We never know how long we have.

So, we should spend our time wisely and consciously, don’t you think?

   Wanna dance?


Unterschrift Johanna (c) Johanna Ringe 2014 ff.