Das Bunte Leben Hochbegabung

We are unique, not alone.

We are unique (text on collage of many different stylized humans) ©Johanna Ringe 2024 www.dein-buntes-leben.de

Hello there! If you are reading this blog, chances are that you have often felt or still feel different and alone. Different, because you are unique in the way you perceive the world and process it differently to those around you. Alone, because the focus was or is more often on the differences than on the similarities.

You are certainly unique, but you are not alone.

Because even if you happen to be surrounded exclusively by people who experience this world differently to you, you still have a lot in common with them: perhaps your language, your background, your employer, your school, your eye colour, your posture or a hobby… but definitely the species, the planet and the basic needs. You are human beings.

All differences aside, two human beings have a hell of a lot in common.

So why do we find it so difficult to see ourselves as part of this whole? Why do we get hung up on the fact that the other person listens to weird music, eats strange things, or simply has no clue about fashion? Because we always divide ourselves into groups, we humans. We want to belong, and in societies where the extended family no longer exists as a support system, subcultures or other communities of interest have to take over.

But what about those who find honesty and justice more important than taste and skin colour?

These people, who are reflective and self-critical, who question many things, who see themselves as individuals and allow others to do the same, these people very often feel very alone. Even in a crowd, especially in a crowd. These people, who feel differently, think differently, absorb information differently and process it differently, are often unable to talk to anyone on an equal footing. Today we have the internet, and for most of us that is really great. On the internet you can find people who think like you. Who are interested in the same obscure topics as you, or who also want to get involved in a certain topic. For the highly gifted and highly sensitive, the internet is often a life raft.

How good it is that the internet exists!
But the internet doesn’t give you a hug…

Because whenever our basic needs need to be met, we need human beings:

  • Someone should hold you in their arms while you grieve.
  • Or accompany you on a difficult journey.
  • Someone should see your tears and simply hold your hand quietly without asking questions.
  • Or laugh with you until your bellies hurt.
  • Or bring you warm chicken soup to your bedside.
  • Or greet the view behind the summit cross with you, cheering loudly.
  • Someone should examine your newborn baby and calm you down.
  • Or remember with you someone who is no longer here.
  • Or smile broadly at your great happiness.
  • There should be someone with whom you can share your enthusiasm or your indignation.

Even if you have different interests, your clothes, your music, and your skin colour are different, even if you speak different languages and have different world views in your head:

You are both human beings, and that is enough right now.

We humans all rejoice, dance, mourn, breathe, dream, love, suffer, laugh, and die. And we can – and usually want to – do this together with others. But you can also feel a sense of belonging when you pick an apple for a little boy far from home, or when a friendly stranger smiles at you in the presence of beauty. Then neither of you is alone.

Uniquely gifted, communicating differently, neurodiverse or with a disability – there are some things we all share.

Some examples:

  1. Despite all the small talk that is not relevant to you, XX wants to be loved and known and accepted for who they are.
  2. For all their carefully presented coolness and up to date garb, XY expects clear statements about their contract.
  3. Even if YZ always seems to be in control of themselves, they need help when they come out of hospital.
  4. They might be a selfmade millionaire and proud of it, but even ZX needs some shoulder to cry on when their child dies.

You may often feel alone and misunderstood, but even that is a common feature: I don’t know one single person who has survived adolescence or puberty without feeling completely alone and absolutely misunderstood at least some of the time. We really are unique, we are individuals with different bodies and different souls. That is a fact. But that doesn’t mean we have to feel lonely. On the contrary:

After all, what you have in common with everyone else is that you are unique!

Together or alone is usually just a question of perspective. It’s worth finding a way to communicate across supposed differences, whether between generations, faiths, or genders.

It is precisely where we share something with each other across many differences that we are at our most human. And the happiest.

Heartfelt, wherever you are,

Unterschrift Johanna (c) Johanna Ringe 2014 ff. www.dein-buntes-leben.de